Friday, June 27, 2008


Vacation time is here!!!!!!!!!
My plans you ask. Here's what I got so far for my days
Drink Mimosa or Bloody Marys for breakfast (after all it has juice so it counts!)
Float a little on the lake
Play Some games with Neurotically Yours. Let her win(you know how competitive she is!!)
Pass out...........I mean go to sleep!!
Do it all over the next day!!!
Nothing like Disney Land for grown ups!!!!!!
I'll fill ya all in on the details when I get back....July 6

Thursday, June 26, 2008


I thought I'd put this one up again for Holy Crappers

.I think the title clues all in on what this is about, but just in case I'll tell ya. I happen to have an extraordinarily high number of stories of poo ,and no I'm not talking about that SILLY OLE BEAR. I'm talking straight up shit.Well I do have 3 lil' Princess Peabodies running around and 1 Prince Peabody!!!! So I thought I'd share some of them with you.
I also have the most stupid facts and little known things floating around in my head. So I thought if I told you all ..well then ......YOU could then have stupid facts floating in your head.
Let's start with THE POOP.
We have an incredible phenomenon in our house. I'll go into the bathroom ...and there it is ........a toilet full of shit. So I go to where my children are and ask very nicely "Who was in the bathroom last?"
NOT ME, NOT ME , NOT ME ,(Teenager covers phone) NOT ME .
"Could you all come with me?"

So there we are all gathered around the toilet full of shitt.
Now my children are looking at me as if I'm the talking toilet full of shit!
Then they start to account their whereabouts.When they can see that's not working they start to tell on each other. The whole thing ands up with someone yelling(usually me) someone crying (usually one of them)and just have to say THE PHANTOM SHITTER strikes again.
I'll let you in on a lil' secret .
THE PHANTOM SHITTER has been known to travel.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Mr.Ed That Talking Jack Ass!!!

With us getting ready to go on this years vacation I'd thought I'd tell ya about the talking horse that we seen on last years vacation.
We decided to stop in Cherokee for a couple of days before we got on the houseboat and do some white water rafting and horseback riding. Things I had booked online months in advance. The morning we were to go horseback riding the Little People were very excited.So we piled into the truck and off in the mountains we went' but the day didn't turn out exactly as I planned.As we arrived at the ranched and approached the barn where the ranch hands were ,one of them was looking at BUD MAN dubiously.
Turns out there's a weight limit!! And BUD MAN just missed it by 20 pounds.
Which totally explains what I heard as we were walking up to the barn........

Mr. Ed.......Neighhhhhh.....naaayyyyy.......noooo fucking wayyyyyyyy
I had no idea Mr.Ed had such a potty mouth!!!

Don't worry about BUD MAN cause I told him
Save a horse
Ride a cowgirl!!!!!!!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

OK people I know your out there? Don't be shy it's just me. I promise not to let anyone hurt you if you just LEAVE A COMMENT!!On any of the post..doesn't have to be today's. Please ! People you've made me beg!
I have a site meter and I'm not afraid to use it
(I just don't know how to use it)
It doesn't make sense to me.
So just a little comment look I'll help ya out
Great post
Nice job
That's funny
Hate it
Jump off a cliff!!!!
Anything at all!!!
Just alittle sumthing sumthing to keep me going.
Thanks. The Color Of Home has pictures of the flooding in the midwest. Go look at them.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Vegas In July

We went to Vegas for a friends wedding last July.
Here are some of the pictures for all the BAY AREA BABES!
You know who you are! Our Hotel
Why oh why are you looking at us that way?
Note to self: No more pictures with short people! I can't resist the urge to bend down thus giving the dogs a chance to jump the fence!!
Ummm.....Got glasses? Woo Hoo....I'm over hear!
Ahh..there you are.
A little gambling !!!!
The Pool Bar

The Ty restaurant gave out these chocolate malt colored I put it on like lipstick(like you never done that!!!). Oh and don't think I forgot BOSS LADY about the piece of food that landed on my plate as you were laughing!!!!!!

The Gang
The reason we went......We had a great time. Thanks for letting us share in your special day!

Saturday, June 21, 2008


I thought I'd take something out of the freezer for dinner tonight and this is what I found!!! No shit!!

WTF?!!!!! It's one of the house phones!! OK OK I've given up on the girls actually putting them on the charger....... but now we just leave them any where?
So this got me thinking..........

Was sporty girl making cold calls?
Or (please lord no) Cheer girl getting some hot calls from her boyfriend?

I'd like to say this is out of the ordinary.............but that would be a lie......and not that I have a problem with a good lie. I just don't want anyone reading this to get a false sense of me. Shit like this happens around here all the time.

What do you do?
I'm just gonna blow dry it .....hope it works and roll with it.
Why sweat the small stuff?

Friday, June 20, 2008

School Mornings

This picture is about 3 yrs old.....and apparently I was famous so I was incognito!!
I haven't any idea why I chose to wear that hat and those Jackie O sun glasses. But I do know that's a Pirate Ship sunset cruise and they serve free rum punch!! Ahoy Matey!!

Psst dude....dude behind us you mind getting the hell outta my family picture?!!
The Little People of my world conspire to keep me happy. It really is a beautiful thing. Now I know school is out but let me tell you story about school mornings.
I have four kids. And there was a time when they went to 3 different schools at 3 different times. For 7 years I got up and made breakfast, got homework together, made sure teeth and hair was brushed . A very busy busy time of day are our mornings.
Well I thought we were chugging along just fine but apparently we weren't. BUD MAN came to me and said that the kids were old enough to start doing most of the mornings by themselves ( something about all the tears and stress.I was glad he was seeing the difficulty of my job but he was talking about the kids!!!!)......and maybe I should stay in bed till 15 or 20 min before they all had to be driven to school................OH YEA THIS IS TOTALLY GONNA WORK FOR ME JUST FINE. This has evolved into me staying in bed till the door shuts on their tiny hinys (and perhaps just perhaps slightly longer......hey they're at school what the hell do I have to jump out of bed for?!) Now sometimes my lil chickens forget that I'm still in the house listening to everything they're doing and of course a fight breaks out! Well there are 4 of them. I try to stay out of it though....I could give you all a line of shit about how I'm teaching them to work out problems for themselves.........but really I'm just to damn lazy to get up! Hey don't judge me people!!!!! You'd stay in bed if you could to!!!! Oh yes you would!! Don't lie!!!!
Deep breathes.......phew that was close I just about had to bust some blogging ass.......hmmm.....what day of the month is it? Anyway back to my story...

They start to argue about something ...........Love bug decides she can't take anymore of the others bull crap and does the inexcusable.......she brings it to me. I can literally hear the other kids trying to beg her to stop. Now they decide to I could not hear the argument that just took place at very highest decimal their voices can go.

Now I'm up. And I announce it just like that.
Now I'm up!!!

As my chicklets all scramble to look busy I hear ....Thanks alot Love Bug......I think my chicklets may have ganged up on her later that day 'cause for the rest of the week I heard not a peep.......really not one peep!!

Help T-Shirt Hell

Hey, Bud Mans angle for this picture n Victorias secret is really working for me!!!!!
I bought this shirt cause I thought it was funny......but then I got to thinking about it and I realized ............I have no fucking clue as to what it means!!!!! I'm serious. As you might have guess I'm a real blond.

So I was going to have a few drinks with neurotically yours and her sis-in-law. I ask them what they thought it meant. They really didn't have a answer......meanwhile men at bar overhearing our conversation are trying to hide their laughter.......A blond asking 2 brunettes to explain the shirt shes wearing.(the girls might want to lay off on the coloring of their seems to be effecting their thought process ) But I don't care it has become a quest. I need your help. Can anyone tell me what the hell my shirt means?

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Packing for Vacation

Sister Soldier
I'm mad!!! Really mad. It's the pre vacation madness that hits the week before we leave. And because Sister Soldier and BUD MAN seem to be vying for first place,I've decided to determine a winner and give the prize!! The prize being a embarrassing story for today's blog. Now I really think BUD MAN is a overachiever in competing to piss me off so of course he locked this one down tight.
What did he do? You ask
Lets just say it involved his complete disregard of any I opinion I had on readying ourselves yesterday! Me! Me! The one who's been packing up 4 kids for family vacations for the past 15 yrs. Hrmph......what an ass..........did I say that out loud?
OK OK!! Settle down do goody housewives I'm not even gonna come close to the really good stories.

About 10 yrs ago when we lived a couple of hours from his parents house BUD MAN decided to drag ...I mean take me there,I could soooo get side tracked with the whole in-law thing but I'll save those stories ,this is what happen when we left.

We load up kids ,babies and bags. Its winter so this kinda sucks (Indiana). Say the hour long good-byes.(theres a hour I'll never get back). As we are backing out of the drive way, of course he is still talking to The In-Laws
He's looking behind us with his head out the window saying good bye and backing up and I see...............his shoulders twitch. Hmmm...whats this? as he pulls his head in and looks at me (like a dear in headlights) it ucures to me what just happen.
Can you guess?
Think about it!
Here it comes !!!
He rolled his head up in the window!!!!!
Did you..............did you just roll your head up in the window??!!!! laughing hysterically............You did!!!!!
You just rolled your own head up in the window!!!
At this point there really is no controlling me!!!!
Tears (and maybe just alil bit of pee) escape me.
As I finally calmed down.........a thought runs through my mind.........if I seen his shoulders twitch...............what the hell did his parents see standing not 5 ft from the truck?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh man I definitely peed a lil on that thought!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm giggling right now just thinking about it.
Well that's when I knew BUD MAN was NOT the multi-tasking kinda guy. He has other super powers but I'm not in the mood to play nice today so I'll save those stories for a later time.
Soo.....the moral of this blog.......don't mess with me . I have dirt, and I'm not afraid of sharing!!

Friday, June 13, 2008


Umm Hello?......Why do people keep flipping me the bird?
Red or blue? They're both keg beer!!
3 girls......4 green balls.....1 limp palm tree........What the hell is wrong with this picture?!
I'm looking surprised....about what I don't know

Now you see them..... Now you don't

Don't even ask where the pockets came from
I think the big bottle of Vodka right there explains this ...although I do have alot of pictures of people grabbing My Mans body!!
He's such a Brat! By the way look at my girls boobs!!! Damn Girl!! Can you say Victoria Secret! Love it!!

Again with the bird!

Mmmm always room for jello shots
Rack It
I'm not sure if they know I have this picture.......but I'm slightly turned on!!
Oh girl...that boy crazy!!

Thursday, June 5, 2008


Do you think boring people know they're boring? Do you think when they're speaking they are actually thinking of things they would rather be doing too? And how can the boring find sooo much to talk about as they trap you in the grocery store parking lot.......because I think they lay in wait for you to come along. What if you see them in the beginning of the store then you just keep running into them.......shudder. Anyway ......Do you think boring people know they're boring?

Wednesday, June 4, 2008


This is Lovebug

She really is a sweet girl . Just Sometimes she says whats on her mind . Nothing wrong with that you say...........well you never been in a store when this has happened. Let me give you an example...

A couple years ago she was spending the night with neurotically yours kids and they had to go to the grocery store to pick up a few things
As they are standing in line my daughter 'my sweet ,sugar and spice girl 'turns to neurotically yours hubby and says

Sometimes my butt talks....
and it stinks too!

Now it's hard to embarrass neurotically yours hubby.... but she did it!

OK fast forward to this weekend.
We went to BBQ at Bahama Shores Mama's house. Had a good time as we are leaving Lovebug turns to bahamashoresmama and says

Your party was kinda boring when we got here.
then it got fun
then the moms came outside and
it wasn't fun
then it got fun again sooo
It was a pretty good party!

Ummm....Hello...... yea.
What can I say?
She speaks whats on her mind!
Anyway thanks Bahamashoresmama we had a great time!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Lazy Not Busy

Well it's been awhile sense I posted. Just wanted to let everyone that doesn't know me in on a secert...I'm lazy and I don't do well with deadlines. Let me give ya all a lil background. I joined a Book Club.Sounds good. We meet 1 a month.Not bad so far. All I have to do is read one book.I can't seem to pull it off!I tried I really did. I got the book.I would try to read it ... I'd carry the book around thinking I'll read it while waiting in line to pick up kids.Or take the time at home. I'd get nice and comfey.
Have drink check
Have pillow check
Have home phone and cell phone check
Have ipod check
Have cigs ....wait a min I quit smoking sooo unchecked
Like I said nice and comfey .
It didn't work I've only ever started some of the books. Others I didn't even try.
So now I just let everyone know at BOOK CLUB I'm just there for the food.
MMMMMMMMMMMMM always good food!!!
So my post wont be regular. Like the title says