Reciepe for Love!!

OK ladies I thought I'd share a recipe with ya that I got from my summer reading!!
"What........a recipe?"
I know.........I'm not good at recipes but this one promises to be good Really good!!!!
OK let's clear the room...........
"All the uptight ladies leave in
3
2
1
Cum Sweetener !!!!!!
2 cups fresh squeezed OJ (like I'm ever gonna squeeze my own OJ)
6 hulled strawberries (does this mean cleaned and cut?)
1/4 cp blueberries
1 cp peaches sliced
1 banana
1tbs powered sugar
4 ice cubes
Blend on high
That's right a recipe to make your man's Love Lava,Snake Oil,his Liquid Love ,his Astronaut Juice taste better!!!!!

Bud Man has graciously agreed to be the Guinea Cock.......I mean Guinea Pig for this experiment. Oh don't even act like you don't need a recipe like this 'cause we've all done it or least tried it once. And I bet not one of ya were like "Mmmmmmm....Damn that is good. What do you mean I have to wait 20 min for more?!!!!!"

I think we found out that 20min was a lie!!!! But it doesn't all have to be a lie........
Try it.......Who knows !!!!!!!!

The book I got this from is called Tickle his Pickle

Awards

Mrs. Snooty Primadona Pink Piddy Paws
Holy Crappers
Random Thoughts

I bitch

I bitch

I ........get awards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was just bitching about awards and everybody took pity on me and gave me one!!!!

I love the bloggy World!!!

These mean soooo much!!!!! I feel like Jan Brady....They like me ...They really really like me!!!!( Is it sad that they mean even more 'cause I was the first to get them in my circle of "i know them " blog friends?!!......or am I just a bitch?!!!!)

Yea that's what I thought !!!!

Anyway Thank you......I'll be giving these bad boys out soon..........

.........to be continued

Wordless Wednesday

What happen to my shampoo?

I got in the shower this morning and went to shampoo my hair, as I squeezed out the shampoo .....it's mostly water!!!!!............those damn kids..(yes I turned into the villain in a scooby doo cartoon)..
So I got to thinking who was in the shower last?......My first thought is....Prince Charming
His last shower was...........
he showered when we went to................
Hmmmmm...that's funny I can't remember the last time he showered.
When I got out, I asked him
"When was your last shower?"
"What?".......he's buying time............a trick he learned from his Dad
"When is the last time you showered?"
"Oh yea........I was going to shower last night........but.......I ......mumbling"
"When?!"
" I don't know"
Now Bud Man steps up to help him out.Guess he figures being the only two males in the Keep of Women they should stick together.
"Didn't you take one Friday?".......which is still 4 days ago!!!
I guess it was a male bonding moment between them 'cause Prince C says
"Oh yea that's right"
Now don't they know by now that my Super Powers include knowing when anyone in the family is lying?!!!
SIGH..loudly......
I'll have to let this one slide.
But on the bright side Prince C was in the pool. Chlorine cleaned him....right?
Well that's what I'm going with!!!
Oh yea...I still don't know who watered my shampoo!!!

It's my Birth Day

Great picture huh?

Today's My Birth Day!!!
Yup......I've been around for 29yrs
Shut Up!!!!!!
Stop Laughing!!!!!!
OK OK ..that's why I quit calling it a Birth Day and more of an anniversary...........
It's my 10th Anniversary of my 29th Birth Day!!!!
I know there are those of you that will say Why lie about your age?......Your beautiful just as you are and I say BULLSHIT!!!.....Probably the bitches with Indian Blood and their whole body is hanging on their cheekbones!!Well I say no one in my family screwed over or screwed a Indian....much to my dismay!!!!! ..My dismay is that I don't have enough Indian blood not the screwed over thing!!!!!
Damn my slow lazy ass ancestors.........
Anyway those bitches that say.......I never lie about my age........I'm proud of how old and how good I look....are married to a plastic surgeon or they have money to afford plastic surgery.........Money makes you look younger then you are.You don't believe me?...............Well just send me your money and watch the years roll off my face!!!! You send me enough and me and Cheer Girl will be looking like the Judds!!!! "Grandpa tell me bout the good old days"
Those sick bastard that say "Grow old gracefully" don't know me. They don't know that I'm a bitch and I fight anything!!!!! I intend to fight this with everything I got........
People find out it's your Birthday..and ask your age....like that's OK......
What the fuck is wrong with these people?!!!!! Didn't their mama teach them any rules....there are 3 rules everyone should teach their children
#1.....Never NEVER ask a woman her age!
#2.....Never ask a man how much money he makes!
#3.....Never ask anyone how much they paid for something!
Three rules to live by.Simple
And those bitches that ask how old I am and then figure out the math of how many years I am older then they are........
"Oh your alot older then I am" They say
.............I say "And yet our kids are the same age..........wow you must've been having sex at a really young age..........You fuckin slut!!!!"..........hmmm can you tell that has happen to me before?!!
Well here's the unvarnished truth......for those of you who didn't do the math at the top ...........
I am 39!!!!!!

I have questions

I have questions about my bloggy friends.

First question goes to Holy Crappers

How in the hell do you keep a secret?!!!

I don't have any secrets because I tell all (much to the delight of Bud Man).......I can't keep a secret!!!(just ask Pleasing Procrastinator)

Sometimes I don't even mean to tell.....it just sorta pops out.

I don't know how you keep the blog a secret.

I talk to my friends about it all the time.

And now here is the really important question for Holy Crappers

How....Oh how....do you intend to explain how you know Pleasing Procrastinator and myself when we show up at your house to party with ya all?!!!!!

Question for Ask Grandma J

Why are there no pictures of you?

Do you look like Grandma from Walton's Mountain?...... home baked cookies and pies...grinding your own flour to insure your family has the best?!

or

Do you look like Two N a Half Men grandma?..........all Hot and miniskirtishs?!! hm mm I don't think that's a word but you get my point.

How about if you show us just your eyes like Wilson from Home Improvement?

See all the TV references....that's why I don't watch it anymore!!

>

Next question goes to Pink Piddy Paws

How do you have such a well adjusted break-up?

Your so nice....to nice.

You should be driving by his house 50x a night

Slashing tires if he's home with someone Else!!!

Calling his friends to "chat"....secretly finding out if he's miserable!!!

Better yet you should be dating his friends!!!

Come on I'll pick you up and we'll go grab some beer and stake-out his house...I mean hunt him down......no no I mean check on him...YEA!!!!!..(Jumping up fist punching into air above my head....looking like Tom Cruise on Dave Letterman)

Ouch I think I hurt myself.....maybe we should just blog about it some more.

In case your wondering I'm just kidding....calm down. I would never do anything like that...till it's me....Then it's a whole new ball game!!

I hope I didn't offend anybody with these Questions

I don't know why Pink Piddy Paws questions are so small!

BAM!!!!!

Take that Pleasing Procrastinator

What now Huh?!!!

I say get your ass in the car and bring me my corn!!!!!!>

WTF Friday

OK What the fuck are all these "awards"?!!!!! How can I get one? Do I kick ass or kiss ass? Cause I'm a ass kissing bitch!!!! IDK You show me the ass and I'll kiss it. I love kissing cybor bloggy ass...mmmmm...

MAYAW.......SMOOCH........hey doesn't smooch kinda look like scotch......yummy scotch.....on the rocks......(mouth salivating....licking lips)......wha...what were we talking about? Oh yea "Awards"

Can I make up my own?

I have print shop I'm sure I can whip something up.I think I'll call it

"Beer N Cheese " award

because there ain't nothing in life that you do or eat that Beer N Cheese can't make it better! That's the truth....Really think about it....

Your having a shitty day what do you do about it ? BEER!!!

Your eating a nasty hot dog what do you need ? CHEESE!!

Trust me friends I've put some thought into the whole Beer n Cheese thing ...it works ...it really does!!! You let me know what you think about this theory.

******20 min later*********

Sooooo it turns out I can whip up a pretty decent looking Award ................but then I can't figure out how to get it to my blog.

maybe a little to much Beer N Cheese for me?

Well shit looks like I'll be waiting for someone else's "Award"!!!!

Get it if you have the Beer N Cheese award you can't do any better?!!!

Who's on top?

They say you burn ...250 calories during sex

Now friends I've got to tell you I love BUD MAN any shape I can get him.....

But really.... does this picture beg the question.......

Who's on top?!

Side note : this picture was taken last Christmas and to be fair this has to be one of Bud Mans most unflattering shirts!!

Went to a birthday party at Bahama Shores Mamas and was talking to Neurotically Yours about pictures from our vacation. She said she had a really bad picture of me , and Double D said you need to post that on your blog. She says no I couldn't do that to her and I just want to say
Thank You!!
Your my hero!!
Oh and remind Double D I have a picture of his ass
Not him being an ass
His actual ass!!!!!
He might want to consider bloggy etiquette .

8 kids
7 days

6 adults
10hr drive
WE SURVIVED!!!

We had a great time on Lake Norris TN. The lake House was beautiful. The only thing was it had a lot of steps. 122 steps. From the very top of the loft to the bottom of the boat dock. My legs were burning like a bitch after that first day!!!! Just as I was about to get to the main level I'd have to take a break. Neurotically yours and I came up the steps together and did some heavy breathing in the kitchen for about 15 min. I just want to point out that Neurotically Yours is younger then I ,and nevered smoked and is in just as bad shape as me.
Does this make you feel better about yourself? ....you ask

HELL YEA !!!! Hey if it takes my friends looking as weak ass as me then I'm OK with that.

Here's a chart our smart ass kids started to keep track of how many times someone fell down the staires. This pic was taken in the beginning of the week so not a lot of marks on it. Believe me it had more by the time we left!

Ahhh the mighty men on cooler patrol.....Have you ever seen so many testosterone flying around as when men are getting the cooler full of ice and beer?

Hmmm....you may be right ....Cooking on the grill is definitely testosterone time #1.

Poor Bud Man........just plain tuckered out from getting and drinking the beer......keep your eye on the hat friends it keeps coming back!

Another tuckered man!!! Trying to hide....peek a boo!!!

The ladies and I decided to do a little line dancing so we put a video in.

And damn if that didn't excite the hell out of Double D. ( I have to admit I find myself hard pressed not to spank that bononcka donk of Neurotically Yours too) Oh and look at the perfect form I have!!

Let the drinking games begin!!!!

Neurotically Yours is shifting the blame.....she must have been losing!

I think the spirit of a dead hillbilly was living in the hat and possessed the wearer!!!!!............A angry hillbilly!!!

This is what we drove home in almost the whole way ....and friends I felt close to Jesus....I did.....I could have performed a miracle myself!!!

What miracle?....you ask

If I'd had a lump of coal I could have shoved it up my ass and made a diamond.........cause I was so fucking uptight coming off that mountain in the rain.....even Bud Man ask if I might need a Loopy pill!!!!

Neurotically Yours has a slide show with more pictures.....I might be a little to BLOND to figure out how the slide thing works

I'M BACK

We had a GREAT time! Before I post any stories and pictures (oh yea I've got pictures) I'm gonna catch up on reading all your blogs first!!!