I'm gonna rip his balls out through his mouth!!!!

I'm gonna fuckin shoot Bud Man !!!
I swear to GWAD!!!!!!
If that man doesn't shut his fucking mouth while I'm driving ............................
He won't stop telling me how to drive............

"I wouldn't go to fast through here ......there's always speed traps"
But I'm not you........so shut up!!! I turn the music up

"That's a sheriff helicopter ,looking for people weaving in and out of traffic. Joe just got a ticket last week because of them."
Now your just making shit up.......like I'm gonna believe that stupid effin line!!! Music gets another couple of notches.Window comes down.

"Your gonna want to slow down and get in the right lane. your exit is up ahead. "
I've got a whole nother mile......and five more jackasses ahead of me...........and one beside me soooooooo FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.................JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME DRIVE THE FUCKING CAR!!!
Music is almost full blast now..........windows all the way down and I light a cigarette.......oh yea.....cause if he thinks I cant drive with windows up , music down and nothing else to occupy my hands ................hes got another think coming!!!!!

It's amazing how I'm able to get 4........count them FOUR!!!! children where they need to be and SAFELY!!! without him there to tell me how to drive.

I'm not gonna lie................It flashed through my mind....................if I just bagged him in the nuts he might just shut the fuck up for 20 minutes.

Then I could have sweet driving bliss!!!!

Questions for my friend

I'm helpin a close friend move and I have questions.

Like.............

How is it that you own 5 car loads of clothes ..................and I only see you wear the same shit???

Whats up with a drawer full of game controllers.....................and you don't own the console to???

Why did we move broken shit only to have you throw it away at the new house?

Why was it every time I turned around someone asked if I needed help..............but when I did need help no one was there???? Fuckers.............I know your hiding from me.

And why oh why do all the guys get to bitch and moan for the 2 days it takes to move all the big stuff................when you and I have a week of unpacking to do still??
Fuckin Sissys

The IN_LAWS are gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bud Mans family left last Saturday morning!!!!!!

I hear a choir of angels singing ....................Hallelujah!!!!!

Really these people just suck the life right out of me!!!! GAWD DAMN do they piss me off!!!! I'm not gonna go into details of all the catty fuckin shit they do .........I'll just say ..........they don't treat my kids like the other grand kids............................Fuckin Hippocrates!!!!!

So I promptly went out and got drunk..................rip fuckin roaring drunk!!!!

Oh yea nuttin like good friends and alcohol to help recover from the In-Laws visiting..............if I was smart.............(and I never been accused of that)..............I'd 'ave drank more when they were here. Anyway I did have a great time "Cowboy Stompin".

I know I've not been blogging lately but I promise to catch up on all your blogs this week.

Quick post......................I think I might have words with the In-Laws today.
What a bunch of shit.
GAWD they piss me off!!!!!!

Spring Break is next week. Bud Mans sister and her kids arrive on Friday. His brothers family arrive on Saturday. And my In-Laws arrive on Sunday.

Yea a trifecta of In-Laws!!!!

His mother was in a car accident about a month ago and broke her pelvis.
I said .........HER PELVIS!!!
Ouch!!!!
I can't even type it without squeezing my legs and wincing!!!!! Holy sheeoit...........that had to smarts!!!!! So they decided to drive from Indiana to Florida. I think I would need alot of painkillers.............Hmmmm maybe she'll have some extra.

Anyway .....we'll be at the beach almost everyday.
So I'll try to blog more later to
tell ya all what a wonderful In-Law I am.

MEMORAIL DAY PIG ROAST

(This is a repost. I'm sorry . I'm being really lazy.)

This is the lil' piggy that went ...wee....wee.....wee all the way to the grill!! Something about remembering the men and women who have given their lives for our freedom, that makes my family want to slaughter a pig!

We had a real memorial day miracle at our house.......about 20 kids in and out of our pool and not one of them had to use the restroom!!!!!!

AHHHHHH....Some of the happy natives. Hold the phone.........I don't think everyone is happy. Do you think he might have been friends with the pig...........oh the horror!!!!! But it was delicious!!!!!!!!!!

OH YES!!!!! Back off ladies this hunka hunka burning moron.....ahem......I mean man is ALL MINE!!!!!!! Yea the party just got rolling!!!! Lil' tip ......When honey dons the flower bra and grass skirt , it can only go up from there.

OUCH!!!!!!!!!! MY HANG-OVER JUST TOOK A REALLY NASTY TURN!!!!!!

Hope everyone had a great Memorial Day !!!

Have you ever????

Have you ever woke up from a mad night of sex..........smelling like watermelons?

And your hair is greasy?

And the sheet is off the bed and your underwear are in the kitchen????

Whats up with that?

Disney Competition

That's me and Cheer Girl sticking our ass out....................OK so I don't have an ass....jeesh you bitches are hard!!!!!!
Stage at Indiana Jones Theater

Cheer Girl , Boyfriend and May May



Some of the girls in action!!!

Cheer Friends!!!

Crazy Cheer Mom Roommate and Cheer Girl

2 days at Disney ...........is enough.

Sure its great........... if you don't live here.

All the other teams from out of state were going crazy......like a lil mini vacation.

The best part was the crazy ass Cheer Mom I roomed with..................Man that girl is CRAZY FUN. I'd tell you stories but she reads my blog soooooo.............I'll save it for another time when shes not looking. Lets just say we got a lil tipsy by the pool and had a blast making fun of the other moms!!!

It's not mean.............IS NOT!!!!!!!.........

We did it with love in our hearts. Our Gleeful Hearts.

Honestly..........and really only a few overheard us...........and they thought we we're talking about someone else soooo.............it doesn't count.

All in all pretty good weekend. I had fun getting away from Bud Man..............shit.....I mean it was nice spending time with the girls.

And the house was clean and the kids alive when I got home!!!!!

Cheer Competition

My Girls!!!!

We're heading out to UCA Nations in Orlando. Just me and the two older girls!!!

Oh yea and Aunt Flo......that fucking bitch shows up just as I'm leaving town every effin time!!!!

Bud Man and the babies will be own their own this weekend................I just hope he remembers to feed them!!!!

Keep your fingers crossed!!!!!

PICTURES!!!!!!

Pleasing Procrastinator and I the first day at the beach.


Chatting it up


Bud Man and I

Pleasing Procrastinator and Cooke

Yes Yes that is Prince C..............but look behind him.......hehehehe that skim-boarder took a dive!!!

Is that Cooke or.......a lobster?

That's my girl........trying to figure out how the hell sand got in her bellybutton!!
Ummmm hello......Its a beach!!!
My Girls . 16 and her 13Th Birthday!!!!!
And yes.....that IS a beer in my hand.

Blogging the next morning.....I do dream of your responses!!!

PP is all chocked up to be in a picture with Bud Man!!!!

What the fuck did you just put in your mouth???? I swear I can't leave that girl alone for a minute!!!!!!

Again???? Always sticking shit in her mouth
PP and May May on her 13Th Birthday

Lets Go!!!
I thank shes gonna do a cheer!!!!
Go Girl Go !!!!!

My burnt knees made me really , really tired..............it had nothing to do with two days at the beach and the night of drinking Margaritas!!!!!!!!


A bird shit on her leg.......LMAO.............Oh Jesus people if you could have been there..............she was all like...........................A BIRD JUST SHIT ON ME!!!!!!! Oh yea........everyone around us had to turn and look!!!!!!

Cool Kitty!!!

My Gang !!!!!!!

PP and I day 3

Wait wait................hang on.........was your stomach in? No. Neither was mine ............Lets try that one again.

Jeesh !!!! Take the picture already!!!! You think its easy to suck it in when I've already had a six pack???!!!!!
I'm about to pass out!!!!

I'm soooooo fuckin wore out.........................Oh and I hear you bitches judging me on my housekeeping skills.........for your information ..............WE do keep the clean laundry on the back of the couch!!!!

Can you believe I didn't take my camera out when we went to the bars??

You'll have to go tot PP site to see those pictures!!!!

Ready to make the drinks!!!

The 3 boys on stand-by.

Moo Moo and I are waiting for Pleasing Procrastinator to arrive.

These pictures were taken on Thursday. I'll try to update this tonight.

I promise!!!

Wisdom

Pearls of wisdom I said while under the influence of Ms.Bloody Mary ( you just know she a divorcee)

"You can't fix crazy."....................although you can make fun of it.

"Your entirely tooooo nice to people.".................................While your up will you get me another drink?

Lastly .......and this is really really good advice...............

Fuck'em!!!!

Pictures of Pleasing Procrastinator coming