Friday, October 10, 2008

It's Time to play "Mama I don't feel Good!!!"

I'm sure alot of you have played this game before. I'll be adding points and taking them away as we go along.

  1. If you ask your child "Where does it hurt?" you get 50 points

  1. If you tell your child "Shut up ,cant you see I'm on the phone ?" Subtract 50 points

If you diagnose the problem by

  1. calling your mom..............25 pts
  2. calling all your friends several times, throughout the night, for their opinion.....................50 pts
  3. calling your doctor............................-50 (wheres the fun in that?)

When you hear the child gagging do you

  1. Jump out of bed like a mad woman and run full tilt down the hall while holding child yelling "Hold IT!!!!! Hold IT!!!!! we're almost there!!!!!...................50 pts.
  2. Roll back over and assume your spouse will take care of it...........-50 pts.Please like that will ever happen.
  3. Bonus points if you thought ahead and had the puke bowl ready...............25 pts
  4. if at 3 o'clock in the morning your scrubbing up a trail of puke from child's room to bathroom ...............-100 pts. You must be new to this game then.

We've tallied the score .Let me tell you what you've won!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 days and 2 night all inclusive stay at the HOSPITAL!!!

And Because you .....or your Friends .......all agreed that the pain in the side wasn't normal you get and extra 11hrs straight stay in the emergency room. Where all you get to do is wait for the damn doctor and eavesdrop on any conversation around you!!!! Oh and lets not forget the very non-fat way of not having ANYTHING to eat all fucking day!!!


Bahama Shores Mama said...

I'm sure it was me on the phone with you when you've told at least one of them youngins to shut it :)

I'm not sure what my actual score is........but I'll be happy to just break even! I suck at math.

Tami said...

What do you get when you say "you'll be fine"??

Ummm, -300?!?

I've never said that......I was just wondering!!

Grandma J said...

I don't suppose there are any + points for thinking it was a dream?

Dispite it all, I'm glad you won...and everything is fine....right?

PinkPiddyPaws said...

wait.. wait.. wait... you are the biggest sympathy puker in the world. How have you survived this???

Whew... yet another reason not to have kids!

Keeper Of All Things said...

PPP----you get -100 for having to clean up your childs puke but you get +50 if you catch your own puke while doing it!!!

sista #2 said...

How bout you have everything set up...towels on floor, bucket next to their bed etc and the lovely spawn walk into your room, open door and puke on your fucking carpet.



big hair envy said...

I realize we are focusing on our children here, but I get A LOT more nervous about cleaning up after my husband than I do about my child!!! My child can actually puke in the trashcan, the hubby prefers to splatter the wall!!!

Hope your munchkin is feeling better now.

The Incredible Woody said...

Wow, am I glad that we are a kid-free zone! When hubs pukes, he is on his own!!

Snooty Primadona said...

I still have a huge stain on the carpet from when my daughter got sick the day after Halloween. Red candy doesn't come out, apparently.

I kept telling her that she'd just eaten too much candy the night before & that she'd be fine.

As it turned out, she had a stomach virus that was a really nasty virus and I just kept telling her to suck it up because she'd had too much candy, lol.

Do I get Mom Of The Year?

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

I hope everyone's OK....I earned Mother of the Year award a couple of years ago when my son complained about a stomach ache. I told him to go lay down and blamed it on a bad Little League hamburger. Next day, more stomach ache. I told him it'd go away in 24 hours and to go to bed. 48 hours later, stomach ache so bad he can't walk. I hoist him into the doctor's office who turns us away and says race to the E.R. Appendix had ruptured. We won a 7-night stay in the hospital. If we had gone earlier before the rupture? 24 hour stay.

Janie said...

Puke makes me wanna puke.

Just saying.

kristi said...

LOL! This post had me rolling!! I have done the run down the hall thing telling them, "Do not throw up on my floor!"