Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Cockroach

Me: Hellllo Von Cockroach

Cockroach: Vhat?.........Vhere?...............Me?

Me: Yes you

Cockroach: No no you mistake me I am .....(clears throat)..........Mr. Palmetto Bug.

Me: No what you are is a fuckin cockroach!

Cockroach: No No , you only think I'm a cockroach.......

Doorbell rings

Out of town Guest: "Hi !!!! We made it ,what a horrible flight , but we're so happy to be here with you in Florida. I was just........(screams)................WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!!!!!!!"

Me: "What...... that? Oh that just a Florida Palmetto Bug.....No big deal really. Just a little ole bug. Their really harmless."

I say out of the side of my mouth........."Oh I'm so gonna kill your nasty ass when they leave"

Cockroach with smirk smile " You can try."

13 comments:

Suze said...

I one time was overseas and went into the bathroom and there was one of those big Palmetto bugs on the toilet seat. I just said excuse me and left. I was taking no chances with that damn monster.

Janie said...

Yup. Those sonsabeeches never die. They just keep on procreating.

Renaissance Woman said...

Now I have to look all over my house for a stupid Palmetto bug! Don't even know what it looks like but it scares me.

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

LOL..A bunch of us just had a discussion about the 'Florida palmetto' bug yesterday morning before class.
You know how much I hate them damn things. They freak me out because they just won't die.

FYI - if you step on them and they have eggs, the eggs will stick with your shoes and you track them wherever you walk. See I am learning some things in school.

My Metabolic Rate is Stuck said...

ok...but what's this I hear about 'your car'??? waiting to hear the details.....

Mental P Mama said...

I swear you can hear those things' footsteps.

Big Hair Envy said...

Gross! I HATE those things!! Did they think that giving them a little cutesy name would make them less offensive??? hahahaha!

Wear boots.

PinkPiddyPaws said...

OMG!! When the people in my old apartment complex tried to give me that "Not a cockroach but a Palmetto Bug" bullshit I about lost it. Damn cockroaches! I hates them! HATES THEM!!! Even worse? the giant ones in Florida that FLY?? Oh the inhumanity of it all... ack!

Snooty Primadona said...

I detest those things!!! The ones out here wear six guns on their hips an swagger when they walk, I swear!

Caution Flag said...

Fine. That's enough info to keep me here in the North.

HappyHourSue said...

UGH I had roaches the size of Palmetto bugs in Boston - we thought if we kept the lights on all night they wouldn't come out. But I'd go to use the bathroom and a 3" cockroach would be sittin there like : "'sup."

sista #2 said...

You need to get you one of those bug zapper things. It looks like a tennis racket, runs on batteries. Oh man....those bastid bugs that fly in my house...forgetaboutit. I chase those mothers around until i see the spark on the racket.

#2 entertains her children on a daily basis.

They call me the crazy bugzappinglady.

peace
#2

whatloknows said...

Liked the visual. Bahahaha!


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